GLORY BE TO ELVIS

I am happy to announce that SUE is now an official congregation. Thanks to the Universal Life Church. Thanks to Elvis. Thanks to my friends and family. Now that I'm my own religion I am able to take donations. Feel free to spread the wealth. A dollar here, a dollar there, any little amount helps. If you'd like to donate to SUE email me, Rev. Jeremy Jorgenson, directly and I'll give you all the proper information.

With that said, I'm happy to announce there was another public ass incident! This time I was in a public restroom at the Caltrain depot and I saw a man dry his ass with the hand drier. First he dried his frontal region, then his ass. He was a white male, forty years in age, pants dropped down to his knees. I'm beginning to think all this ass that Elvis is exposing me to has something to do with his death.



Elvis did die in the bathroom. There is a controversy here as well in regards to what book Elvis was reading. At the time of Elvis's death reports say that Elvis was reading a book about the Shroud of Turin when he died, often cited as, "A Scientific Search For The Face Of Jesus," by Frank O. Adams. The other book that Ginger Alden (Elvis's girlfriend) and investigators at Graceland said they saw was, "Sex and Psychic Energy," though Ginger admitted this only years later.

This then leads to another question, what does this exactly have to do with Redd Foxx? I've spent hours asking Elvis this exact question. My conclusions have come to the following:
(1) Redd Foxx was the only celebrity invited to the king's wedding.
(2) He has a comic routine about washing ones ass.
(3) Elvis died on the toilet.
(4) Both marriage and death are spiritual events in our culture...

Alas, the search continues.

Glory be to Elvis, now go on and take on the day!

NEWS FLASH!!!!!!

This just in, my fellow SUEers: Andy Kaufman appeared on The Redd Foxx Comedy Hour in Sept 1977 and impersonated ELVIS, just one month after Elvis Died!!! Could Elvis, while trainning to be a member of the elite shadow government, pose as Kaufman before his entire transition took place? Kaufman was a member of the Self Realization Center. Elvis once went to the Self Realization Center and met a woman who reminded him of his Momma!

The more I dig, the deeper things get with Redd Foxx/Elvis Conspiracy! Today I learned that on November 28, 1989, the IRS stormed into the Redd Foxx home and seized all of his items, one of which was no other than a watch that Elvis gave the late great comedian.



Not only that - I found the following at IMDB, regarding watches:



In 1973 he (ELVIS) met with Led Zeppelin members Robert Plant and John Paul Jones in Los Angeles. An idol to the members of Led Zeppelin, Elvis wanted to meet "who was outselling him" at concerts (Zeppelin was in the midst of a record-breaking tour that year). A meeting was arranged with two of the four band members (Plant and Jones). Plant was so awestruck at meeting his idol in person that he could barely speak to him. Jones, nearly as awestruck as Plant, made small talk with the "King," and mentioned what a beautiful watch Elvis wore. Elvis, always the generous one, instantly traded his $5,000 gold and diamond watch for Jones' $10 Mickey Mouse watch. This broke the ice with all of them, and they became fast friends. Throughout the early '70s, members of Led Zeppelin even attended a few of Elvis' concerts, and were granted the privilege of sitting in the front row by the King himself.

I've spent hours meditating on this watch thing. Could Elvis be announcing to us all that time is just an illusion? I think so!

Glory be to Elvis!

REDD FOXX & ELVIS: The Conspiracy Continues...

I'm still trying to figure out this whole Drunk ass-washing conspiracy and what it exactly has to do with Redd Foxx and Elvis. This is what I have learned thus far:

1) A drunk came into the laundromat, Saturday, May 6th.
2) I witnessed the drunk man dip a rag into the washer and wash his ass for five minutes.
3) I know this must be a mystical sign from Elvis to teach me something...but WHAT?
4) GURUSMASHER informs me that '...this in fact might be a divine reference to the Redd Foxx 'party album', You Better Wash Your Ass!'
5) Redd Foxx was the only artist to be invited to Elvis Presley's wedding at the Aladin Hotel in Las Vegas, on May 1, 1967.

I came across this last clue today from the Grim Society:

6) "Graves of Redd Foxx and Elvis Presley's Manager - Longtime Strip headliner Redd Foxx was laid to rest here at Palm Memorial Gardens after a fatal heart attack in 1991. Foxx dominated Vegas showrooms with his filthy but hilarious stand-up comedy. He is best remembered as Fred Sanford on TV's "Sanford and Son". Foxx's real name was John Sanford, but his headstone here is inscribed with his stage name as well a a little red fox monogram. Also buried here is longtime Elvis Presley manager Colonel Tom Parker, who died of a stroke in 1997. 7600 S. Eastern Avenue."

You see, not only was Redd Foxx invited to Elvis' wedding - he's buried alongside Colonel Tom Parker. Yes indeed, Elvis has sent me on a mission. I can feel it in my bones. Take one step towards Elvis, Elvis takes three towards you.

With Elvis as my witness, I will figure out what the Redd Foxx-Elvis connection has to do with a bum washing his ass in a laundromat!

Glory be to Elvis!

EXCITING NEWS

First off, I'd like to wish Gladys Presley, Elvis' Momma and SUE's Virgin Mary, a Happy Mother's Day. If it wasn't for you, Mrs. Presley, the universe would be totally different. Glory be to Elvis.

Secondly, regarding my previous post that GURUSMASHER commented upon:

'My own limited aptitude in augury, such as it is nevertheless prompts me to mention that this in fact might be a divine reference to the Redd Foxx 'party album', You Better Wash Your Ass!
Perhaps some investigation into the possible connections between Redd and Elvis (may He sing forever) is in order.'

Well, thanks to a Google search using the names, 'Elvis Redd Foxx,' I came across the following trivia:

'Redd Foxx was the only artist to be invited to Elvis Presley's wedding at the Alladin Hotel in Las Vegas, on May 1, 1967.'

I'm happy to announce the Drunk washing his ass was indeed a sign from the King! Thank you, GURUSMASHER! I feel as though I've stumbled across a secret society. Needless to say, I'll continue to look into this 'Redd Foxx' situation. Glory be to Elvis.

SUFFERING FOR ELVIS

Glory be to Elvis.




Today, Elvis tested me. And I thank him for the tests. It means he loves me and he's making me a stronger man. At the laundrymat, the neighborhood drunk was doing his wash. I see him now everytime I do the laundry. He is six-five. Very tall. Black. Bleach blonde hair. And wore a pair of extremely small red shorts. He always dances and sings while sipping on a 40-ouncer.

While, needless to say, I smelled something very horrible in the laundrymat and I turned and saw that this man had his red shorts down to his kness. He was dancing. Dipping a rag in the wash and then washing his ass for five minutes straight. Of course, amazed by the car wreck that was unfolding in front of me, I could not stop watching. This image will remain in my head for the rest of my life.

I don't know exactly with what Elvis was testing me with today, perhaps compassion.

May Elvis live in your hearts and souls forever,
Glory be to Elvis.

The Man Who Brought Them Together

Some of you may have looked at the photo above and wondered to yourself, "why is there a giant wooden artists' mannequin standing between Elvis (may He sing forever) and President Nixon?". You might have even thought that this pic had been altered, photoshopped for some private joke that we in the Inner Circle know about and laugh smugly over. Well, you'd be wrong. This is a special Kirilian photo that was taken of the occasion that shows the hitherto unseen presence of a third party at this momentous summit. The personage in question is Charles Napier DeWitt (that is the Earth name he has taken- his real name would be unpronounceable for those possessing only one tongue) and he is an emissary from the Loveplanet Pandemoniax 23. Having already been known to the US Government since the 50's and having made the acquaintance of Elvis (may He sing forever) through the Self Realization Fellowship, he was called upon to arrange the impromptu meeting that has come down to us as a milestone of Government/Pop music concorde. His curious appearance is due to the fact that natives of Pandemoniax 23 possess wooden exo-skeletons with a tasty fruit filling inside of one of three exciting flavors: strawberry, cherry or blueberry!

CHOSEN!!!

Glory be to Elvis!

I'm proud to say Elvis visited me yet again in another dream! He was the Elvis of the 70s. He carried his dead brother's infantile corpse in his arms. I dropped to my knees! I thanked him. I kissed his feet. He told me to stand, and I rose. Elvis told me to drop my pants. I told him it was wrong. He told me he was the king. I dropped my pants. I stood there naked and Elvis unzipped my ball sack and I screamed, 'Glory be to Elvis!' Elvis sang 'Old Shep' and I cried. He then told me that he was 'Gonna stuff my twin's flesh in your testicles - so I can spread my seed. You see, when you release your seed inside a woman folk - a little Elvis will be born. Amen.' Amen. I look forward to another one of your challenges, O Elvis O Lord. Glory be to Elvis. Glory be to all.

Elvis. Elvis. Elvis.
I love you, Elvis.
I love you like a large pig,
slathered in jam.
I love you like a little mouse caught in a
trap. O Elvis - let me be you.
O Elvis
Let me be me.
O Elvis - please oh please
don't shoot that TV.
I beg you to hold my hand instead.
And simply look at the moon.
O Elvis.

Glory be to Elvis. Now go on and take on the day!

THE GOSPEL OF ELVIS

Good day, my fellow SUEers.

Elvis is love. Elvis is you. Elvis is me. I'm happy to tell you that Elvis visted me in yet another dream last night! Elvis wore a Military uniform and his hair was short. He saluted me and I saluted him back.

"Rev J," he said to me, "I - I do appreciate what you're doing for me and all, but unless you get three hundred members by the end of May...I'm going to have to take you home to Graceland. Thank you very much. He then bent down and patted my stomach and sang, 'To Dream the Impossible Dream.' I knew then what Elvis was telling me: "If you build it, they will come."

As Elvis once said, "I always felt that some day, somehow, something would happen to change every thing for me."

My fellow SUEers, I too have faith that I will meet the King's goal of three hundred members!

GLORY BE TO ELVIS!!!

Glory Be to Elvis!

Good Day, my fellow SUEers.

Every once in a while I'll stumble across a fellow Elvis fan's website. I'm always amazed at the time and effort in putting together a site devoted to Elvis. I'm amazed with their artwork, their devotion to the Elvis spirit.

Please click here, turn your speakers up, and be ready to be amazed. This particular site leads to one of my favorite Elvis songs, A Pocket Full of Rainbows - which, by the way, the King sang to me last night in a dream. Anyway, the website just doesn't stop there, as the creator of the site has pages & pages of Elvis songs and artwork.

As Elvis once said, 'Once I go, the world is going to really start changing. That's when it will all start.' True as that may be (9/11 for instance), the spirit of Elvis will continue to live on forever!

Glory be to Elvis.

I HAD A DREAM

This image is from this photo gallery.

There have been some of you out there who have asked, 'Are you serious with all of this Elvis stuff? Do you really think he is your saviour?' My answer is an unequivical yes. I explained this to Boopee, Hamilton and Lovebug last night.

When I listen to Elvis, or when I see him perform in one of his concert films, I get a feeling inside of me which goes beyond being entertained. I almost feel as though as I am in one of those big tent religious revivals of yesteryear. I put my hands in the air and I dance. I feel as though I've slipped prozac. I do everything but speak in tongues.

In the first Elvis In Space, Stevie, Robot Charlie Hodge and Elvis make their way through a dangerous asteroid belt so that the King can find his Momma. Elvis asks the Robot, 'What are the odds of making are way through this asteroid belt?'

The Robot answers, 'A million, billion to one.'

Elvis responds, 'As long as I have one shot, I'm raring to go.'

This is what Elvis means to me. He is someone who beat the odds. He is someone that changed our society. He is the American dream. Elvis' spirit gives me hope. Elvis allows me to dream.

Speaking of which, my fellow SUEers, I had a dream last night. I guess all this talk of Elvis and spirituality released something in me: Elvis made a visit to me last night. It was all very exciting. My head was resting on his lap, and he was rubbing my bald head. He was wearing Brut (his favorite) and he was singing, A Pocket Full of Rainbows (my favorite).

'Rev,' he said to me, 'I - I appreciate what you're doing. And I'll guide you through these difficult times when people might laugh at you. They laughed at me too.'

I looked up at him and he smiled.

'Your next assignment is to get me some followers, I'm a spirit that moves, not a corporation - Amen.'

'Amen' I said. Then Elvis disappeared and then I was being chased through the sky by a bald woman (I guess some sort of test).

But there you have it! Come one, come all - join SUE today.

Infringed

Dear Jeremy Jorgenson,

Thank you for contacting CafePress.com!

Your use of the name and likeness of Elvis Presley for commercial advantage is problematic as your use may potentially infringe on the Elvis Presley's estate's Right of Publicity.

As outlined in our Intellectual Property Rights FAQ's, the Right of Publicity clause makes it unlawful to use another's identity for commercial advantage without permission. A person's "identity" includes, for example, his look, voice, name, nickname, professional name, and other distinctive characteristics. For example, the Right of Publicity prohibits you using the picture of a celebrity without authorization on your merchandise.

Accordingly, we have set the images in question to "pending status" which disables said content from being displayed in your shop or purchased by the public. You may review the content set to pending status by logging into your CafePress.com account and clicking on the "Media Basket" link. The content set to pending status will be highlighted red.

We apologize for any inconvenience that our actions may cause you.


Best Regards,


Michael M.
Content Usage Associate

Sillerman is Satan

Every church needs one and Robert Sillerman is ours. He is our Satan. Who exactly is this Robert Sillerman, you ask? Not only does he own American Idol, he now owns 85% of Elvis. Not his songs, but Elvis' name and likeness. Sillerman has plans to tear down the Heartbreak Hotel and he is thinking about cracking down on Elvis impersonators, suggesting they may have to be authorized. (See a previous post, "The Elvis Estate.")

Speaking of Satan, Cafe Press, sent me a notice today telling me that some of the images I've put on my marketplace "might be" in violation of copyright infringement. This includes the picture of myself, covered in blood and wearing an Elvis costume. When will the persecution of Elvis fans and followers end?

Well, on the upside, I sent my EIS2 (Elvis in Space 2) audition notice out on Monday, and my SUE congregation forms out today. The SF Fringe Festival is in just four months -
whew. But I'm sure Elvis will show me the way, as he always does.
He always does.

THE FUTURE OF SUE

Check out the other Elvis paintings by Naoki Mitsuse here.
*******
I plan this month to start a congregation through the Universal Life Church. SUE will be a real life religious body, with yours truly as head pastor. Elvis and his music has not only brought me joy and entertainment, but has provided me with deep spirituality. I've listened to Elvis since I was four years old. I used to listen to his version of "You Were Always On My Mind" and think he was singing directly to me. (There's a part in this song where it sounds as though he's singing, "Jer-er-emy." Others have attested to this strange fact.) For years I would sing in front of the mirror, pretending I was him.

When I was eight, I visited Graceland for the first and only time. My world had changed - and I started to believe in the power of Elvis. It was like I had traveled to Mecca. In 2000, I had a dream in which Elvis was on the moon and he announced to the world he was coming home to save us. Thus began my endeavor with a space opera set to the music of Elvis, The Thrilling Adventures of Elvis in Space.

I firmly believe Elvis has reached a level in our society where he has evolved beyond the role of "just an entertainer." For many of us, he really is our saviour. He has uplifted us in hard times, has carried us along the more joyous occasions. Moses had the burning bush, I had a dream of Elvis on the moon - who's crazier?

It is my goal to firmly establish SUE as a legitimate spiritual establishment where people are free to worship Elvis in any way, shape, or form that they see fit without interference from the Elvis estate.