GLORY BE TO ELVIS

I am happy to announce that SUE is now an official congregation. Thanks to the Universal Life Church. Thanks to Elvis. Thanks to my friends and family. Now that I'm my own religion I am able to take donations. Feel free to spread the wealth. A dollar here, a dollar there, any little amount helps. If you'd like to donate to SUE email me, Rev. Jeremy Jorgenson, directly and I'll give you all the proper information.

With that said, I'm happy to announce there was another public ass incident! This time I was in a public restroom at the Caltrain depot and I saw a man dry his ass with the hand drier. First he dried his frontal region, then his ass. He was a white male, forty years in age, pants dropped down to his knees. I'm beginning to think all this ass that Elvis is exposing me to has something to do with his death.



Elvis did die in the bathroom. There is a controversy here as well in regards to what book Elvis was reading. At the time of Elvis's death reports say that Elvis was reading a book about the Shroud of Turin when he died, often cited as, "A Scientific Search For The Face Of Jesus," by Frank O. Adams. The other book that Ginger Alden (Elvis's girlfriend) and investigators at Graceland said they saw was, "Sex and Psychic Energy," though Ginger admitted this only years later.

This then leads to another question, what does this exactly have to do with Redd Foxx? I've spent hours asking Elvis this exact question. My conclusions have come to the following:
(1) Redd Foxx was the only celebrity invited to the king's wedding.
(2) He has a comic routine about washing ones ass.
(3) Elvis died on the toilet.
(4) Both marriage and death are spiritual events in our culture...

Alas, the search continues.

Glory be to Elvis, now go on and take on the day!